everythingunderthesun.

Assalamualaikum and Peace be upon you :)

I just got back from Malaysia after spending 3 days at my kampung for a kenduri of sorts. Lately, my older cousins have been getting engaged, one after the other, so the topic of weddings are popping up like mushrooms after rain. Coincidentally, Maria Elena, a famous Malaysian blogger and vlogger at Youtube just had her nikah recently and she had her wedding videos up on the Internet. I was curious so I decided to watch a couple of her vids and I must say they were shot very nicely! Congratulations are due for the newlyweds!

I then came across  this reality tv show called 'Rich Bride Poor Bride" and one of the episodes featured  this couple with a tight budget for their wedding. What really surprised me was the amount of money they invested in a one day event to celebrate their union. A $4000 wedding dress that you'll wear once is not something I consider as a low budget item. What's worst is that their 2 best friends didn't contribute much except for a measly $200 on 'THEIR' dream wedding cake and ideas for a costly wedding involving chandeliers and peacock feathers. I just don't understand how a wedding of a couple became the dream date for another as well...that was just so confusing (they kept mentioning 'our dress', 'our cake'). So investing more than $30,000 for a day when that can be used for at least 5 months is just...mind boggling.

Afterwards when I logged into Facebook, guessed what my sister shared on my wall...
A video about marriage, what else!? This short clip was done by this duo and their take on marriage is something I think is worth sharing. Before we get blinded, by the excitement and rush of the glitz and glam of THE DAY, we ought to think thoroughly about our preparation as an individual. Are we equipped in terms of KNOWLEDGE, MATURITY, MANAGEMENT and FINANCE? Are we ready to share the REST of our lives together, despite the ups and downs, the rain and shine?
And what about the other half? Are we choosing him/her because we truly love that person? Or is it because of wealth, looks and expectations? Why sacrifice your happiness for something that is short-lived because you overlooked certain things due to 'love'?
Ask yourself these questions: Will I still love him/her if they no longer love ALLAH? Do I marry him/her because of ALLAH?
If you can't answer confidently, then I think you still have a lot of reflections and pondering in line.
What then, are the qualifications to look for in a partner? The Al- Quran answers:

[Surah An-Nur (The Light), Verse 32:  And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Salihun(pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficent for His creatures' needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people).]

And what if you do want to get married but there are just so many trials going against you or you're just not ready. Allah answers in the Al-Quran:


[Surah An-Nur (The Light), Verse 33: And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His Bounty. And such of your slaves as seek a writing (of emancipation), give them such writing, if you know that they are good and trustworthy. And give them something yourselves out of the wealth of Allah which He has bestowed upon you. And force not your maids to prostitution, if they desire chastity, in order that you may make a gain in the (perishable) goods of this worldly life. But if anyone compels them (to prostitution), then after such compulsion, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful (to those women, i.e. He will forgive them because they have been forced to do this evil action unwillingly).]
In conclusion, I do encourage and urge you to marry, but please do after having a long and thorough session of reflection and do seek advice from those who are wise. We marry not only for one day nor for the rest of our short live on Earth, but also till Jannah, paradise.
Until then, much love and peace!